Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
