they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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