I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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