Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
