marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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