i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
as a side note pls kill me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
