it was like his penis was on wheels.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
