If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize