think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i now understand why vodka
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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