It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
