You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
