Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize