I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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