Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My vagina is officially offended.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize