Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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