After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
