Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
