is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
