i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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