I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize