all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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