Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
