he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just found a bag of teeth...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
