also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
