Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
