After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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