I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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