You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
