I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
