The maid of honor just puked.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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