smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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