The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
