We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
