I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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