great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
