definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
