just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
