So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
