3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
