I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
