just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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