someone threw a dead crab at me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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