that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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