I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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