So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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