I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
