so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize