Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
