ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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