Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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