I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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