just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
