to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
