dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and you said cock pushups were impossible
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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