I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my being single is dangerous.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
