This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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