No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize