What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
