I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just forgot I was standing up.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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