"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
